Well, here we go again... I've really been thinking a lot about the "good old days" of blogging and decided that it was a big part of my life. A big, AMAZING, incredible part of my life, and I want it back.
It's just hard when your kids are old enough that they need privacy and space to be their own people and not have their cute/fun/awkward/painful growing-up bits plastered online. I've always tried to be really mindful of respecting their privacy when it comes to these things. I would die of mortification if my teenage years were shared publicly with who knows who.
At any rate, they're mostly adults now doing adult things like "go to college" and "work full-time". It's absolutely bananas to realize that two of my kids are older than I was when I got married. (Terribly young, before my brain was fully developed and all that.)
I also realize that I never finished my sepsis story and the TL:DR version is this: I got sepsis. It was bad. I barely survived and lived in the hospital for 4ish weeks and didn't eat solid food for MONTHS. And now I'm mostly better but have some permanent damage that we'll have to get in to at a later date because I need to say this instead.
What.
In.
The.
Actual.
Fuck.
It is February 5, 2025, and we are living in a dystopian nightmare. There are so many things happening so fast it is making my head spin. A gross convicted felon managed to bamboozle people into letting him back into office. As President. Of the United States. So far he's set the country back a few decades or so. And it is actively harming my family. I feel like a literal death sentence has been issued for me and my kids, and I am so, so disappointed in humanity. I am embarrassed to be an American right now.
And I keep hearing feedback that tells me I'm taking things too personally. I mean, on election day, and the days immediately after, I was physically sick. I think because I have worked so closely and deeply in the media, specifically within the social media hemisphere, that I failed to realize just how many people in my life are digitally illiterate. My own family (not my progeny, but my siblings and cousins and such) does not know how to differentiate between legitimate media sources and counterfeit sites. They can't spot deep fakes and don't know the tell tale signs of AI generated content. It's maddening. And painful. And it hurts too much to engage.
My whole life, I have studied people and their behaviors, closely. And I always, always, always have given many, many chances to certain people in my sphere. But they have never given me the same grace and I'm over it. I'm done being the bigger person and will proudly be the black sheep. ( I mean, it's the role they love to force on me anyways, right?)
It's just crazy. The world is nuts.
Anyhow, I have so many thoughts rambling along in my head and I just need to start getting them out to begin to process. Just wait until you hear my thoughts about polygamy being viewed only in a binary sense and how actually it would never REALLY work unless you started to view it through the lens of the queer experience. It's WILD these thoughts I have.
Oh, and we moved out of Utah and we're a little mad about that. We live in Arizona now
And I'm getting my Master Gardener certifications and edible native permaculture certification and I am ALSO thinking about maybe really diving into restorative agro-forestry. But it's just a glimmer of a thought right now.
I can feel that my brain has chilled out, so I may be able to go to sleep now. This'll be great because I have to get up bright and early for work. (I am working as a therapist for children with Autism at an early-intervention clinic. It's fun.)
The end. Didn't you learn so many fun new things about me today?
