Doing Less

Yesterday was bad.

All day long, everything had been fine. We got up, went to school, came home, and decided to go outside for awhile. 

My kids were riding their bikes, skating, drawing pictures on the sidewalk… normal kid stuff.

It wasn’t too hot of a day, and a nice breeze was blowing. The weather was autumn perfection.

Except that then it was time to come inside. I got three of the kids in the house without a problem. I called, they came. Thaddeus was further away, and even though I could see him, he wouldn’t have heard me if I yelled, so I decided to walk over to him.

Now you have to understand that I live at the bottom of a hill. Not a big hill, but when you walk, you are walking up. And when I was halfway to where Thaddeus was, he and his friends cut across the grass to the other side of the circle. (Because my neighborhood is also laid out in a circle.)

And as I was walking over to where he was, I suddenly couldn’t breathe.

My body was heating up, and I started to lose vision in one eye. My left leg went numb, and as the world in front of me blurred, a familiar pounding started in the back of my head.

By the time I got back home, I wanted to die.

I turned the shower on ice cold and stood under the water until I could breathe again. Then I stayed in the cold until my teeth began to chatter.

As soon as my body cooled down, my vision cleared up, and so did my headache, but the shaking wouldn’t stop. I put on my pajamas and instead of making dinner, I laid on the couch and asked the DadGuy to please fix something for the kids. 

In total, I walked less than a third of a mile, and my body revolted to the point where I have spent the last 24 hours recovering….

I feel like I don’t do anything these days. I take my injections on Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday evenings, and I spend Monday, Wednesday, and Friday in bed.  AND at my appointment yesterday, I was told to do even LESS.

I don’t know that I could DO less. 

So yesterday, I was discouraged. Because it sucks that something so stupid makes me so sick for such a long time, and even though I WANT to be active and exercise, I can’t, because my body is not capable of doing those things.

And now, even though I’ve spent the majority of the day in bed, I’m going to sleep.

monster bookmark tutorial

Monsters are great year round, but with Halloween approaching it makes me like monsters EVEN MORE.  So here's a simple tutorial on how to make monster bookmarks with your kids (or if you want to do it by yourself, that's good too).

First, you need to cut a piece of thick paper so that it looks like this (the size is totally up to you, as long as it looks like this):

Then you need to fold it so that it makes a triangle.  The big flap folds like this:

The little flaps fold on top of that, and they overlap.

Then you'll want to glue the large flap to the inside and glue the smaller flaps to eachother, but -THIS IS IMPORTANT- don't glue your smaller flaps to your big flap because you want to keep it open inside the monster's "mouth" (otherwise it won't be able to "eat" your pages, it will just be a useless triangle).

Then trace your triangle onto the backside of a piece of scrapbook paper.  Twice.  And cut out those triangles.  Then glue a triangle to each side of your triangle.  This is your monster's "skin".

Then, on a white piece of thick paper, trace your triangle again, and then draw some teeth along the edge so that when they're done they'll be sticking out of your monster's mouth.

See?  See how I drew my monster teeth?  You'll want to cut that so it will fit inside your triangle, so cut a little bit inside the line you traced for your triangle.  And also, pick out your google eyes and glue those on too.

And, if your kids like to color on stuff as much as mine do, let them color their monsters with your good markers.

And that's pretty much it.  The great part is, your kids can make their monster bookmarks any way they want.  Also they can cut and glue their own pieces, so it's easier for you to make your monster bookmark awesome.

And everyone will be really happy to have a monster bookmark, I PROMISE.

And your 3 year old won't have to worry about losing her place when she's reading Jane Austen novels, because her monster bookmark will be eating her page and marking her spot.  (All you have to do is slide the monster over the page corner, which is why I told you not to glue all the flaps together.)

Monster bookmarks are awesome.

The End.

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The Stroke of Twelve

It’s just after midnight, and I just finished unloading and reloading the dishwasher, sorting and switching the laundry, packing the kids lunch boxes, doing a general pick up of the house, and sprinkling baking soda on the carpet (it needs to marinade for a few hours).  I do not understand people that go to bed at 10.

Meanwhile, we’ve had some really fun packages in the mail. The most exciting package was for the girls… mostly Blayne. You see, Blayne is built like me. This is to say, that she has rather long legs, and a short waist. Which means that we have to be very particular about the types of shirts she wears, because a scoop neck means that our belly button is showing. ANYWAYS. Tea Collection got in touch with me and we picked out the most fabulous things for Blayne, and THE NECKLINES! Be still my heart. They are awesome. And the clothes are super soft, and they fit exactly the way children’s clothing should fit, and I am seriously in love. And have already bought something extra for Taylor. But FOR REALS, we’ll have a fashion show later, because Blayne wants to show off.

I have also decided that I need to work on being empathetic towards people. Actually, maybe not. Because empathy is not the same thing as compassion, and I am compassionate towards people and willing to help out with things and such. But empathy. Bleh. I don’t want to feel what other people are feeling. Frankly, any type of emotion exhausts me. Even thinking about having to deal with people’s feelings stresses me out. I’m too clinical for my own good. COMPARTMENTALIZE PEOPLE.

Did you see that I resurrected my other blog? Because I did. And I LOVE IT. And I made some Halloween printables to get my toes wet. Here, have a peek. 

I know it’s not a TON of stuff, but I have more coming. Promise. Besides, it’s free, so you really don’t have any room to complain. (Stop having feelings and click here to download.)

AND NOW, we get to talk something that I can never quite decide about. It’s after midnight, so TECHNICALLY, this is THURSDAY, but I should maybe just pretend it’s still WEDNESDAY because I haven’t yet gone to bed. The stroke of midnight, gets me every time.

Welcome Back and Free Halloween Printables!

The drought is over!

Okay, there wasn’t really a drought, but I did have quite the unexpected sort of a summer that derailed any sort of plans I had, blogging and otherwise.

At any rate, I am SO happy to be “back” and have been working on a few different projects that I know you’ll just love. I’m also going to have the help and creativity of a very good friend, Melissa. She’s a fantastic illustrator AND she lets me pretend to boss her around. If that’s not a win-win, I don’t know what is.

To kick things off, we have a set of Halloween Printables for you!





You get a Halloween banner, a set of 3 cupcake wrappers, and favor tags! The favor tags can be attached to gift boxes, or you can use them as cupcake toppers! Click here to download.

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The digital paper pack used is the Oogy Boogy Kit from Just So Scrappy. Printables are free for printed non-commercial use only. Absolutely no redistribution in any form.

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Best. Mom. Ever.

I just decided that I don’t like injections in my arm. I just got my shot, and it stings and is already bruising.

I also had a really good day today. Like, I felt AWESOME.

And then when I was getting my stuff out to do my shot, I realized that I never took any of my medications from this morning. Obviously, my medicines are affecting me more than I realized. I also just swallowed eleven hundred pills.

I ALSO, also have been working on my Peonies and Poppyseeds site. It looks much better, and will have STUFF on it really soon. As in, tomorrow… probably. I probably shouldn’t have said that out loud because now something will happen and it will be another week before I actually take care of business. OH WELL.

In other news, I made delicious cereal bars last night. Basically, they’re just like rice krispie treats, except that I made them with multi-grain cheerios, crushed up pretzels, and an extraordinary amount of chocolate chips. I’m pretending that the cheerios make them healthy.  HEALTHY AND DELICIOUS.

Want to know what’s NOT healthy, and strictly delicious? Ice cream for dinner. Yeah, we just did that, thereby making me the Best. Mom. Ever.

Homemaking is an Art

Today Taylor and I took naps on the couch for almost the whole day. You would think that I would be refreshed after such a restful day, but instead, I am just as exhausted as before, and annoyed at the general condition of my house. Before bed tonight, I made everyone pick up everything on the floor, because I want to vacuum tomorrow, and I can’t pick up AND vacuum on the same day, because that would require energy that I do not have. I never thought that I would get to the point where I negotiate housework with myself. (This is where all the ladies that have known me over the years fall off their chairs in shock.) This is because I can’t stand dirty houses. I can’t. I can’t even watch TV shows where people’s homes are dirty because they make me crazy and itchy. Cleaning is my love language. It’s why my mom likes when I visit. It’s also why my sister doesn’t like when I visit. I can’t help it. I come, I clean, I feel better. It’s not that I’m passing judgment, it’s just that I’m a really exceptionally quick and thorough cleaning person, because I have mastered that art. And yes, housework is an art.

All homemaking is an art, really.

Getting kids out the door for the bus on time, making sure that snacks and lunches are packed, making sure that everyone’s notes and papers are signed and money is turned in, and hair is combed, and teeth are brushed…. There are hundreds of little things that must be done each morning before 8am. And it’s even harder when your kids are older, because they do things like brush their OWN teeth and pick out their OWN clothes. My kids haven’t figured out that when they give me a kiss in the morning, it’s my secret way of testing whether or not they HAVE actually brushed their teeth, because kids LIE about things like that. They can’t help it, they just have more important things to do in the morning, like eat individual grain of oatmeal on it’s own. It’s just what they DO you see.

The crazy thing about the housework is that I had just figured out the best way to clean this house. You know that every time you move, the hardest part is figuring out the best way to divide up the household chores. Especially if there are certain physical limitations placed on anyone. For example, not everyone can carry laundry up and down flights of stairs. Therefore, it becomes an intricate dance involving multiple partners that are as fickle as the wind. And while some people may be able to bring laundry DOWN, this does not mean that they can bring laundry UP. The same goes for groceries. I will rejoice when the bread can consistently be brought up the stairs without getting smooshed. Have you ever tried to unsmoosh a loaf of bread? It’s not exactly easy.

And with that deep thought, I bid you good night.

Sunday Thoughts

We didn’t get to church this week. Thaddeus was sick, though he would beg to differ. However, this child, who shoots out of bed at the crack of dawn every day of my life, slept until 9am. Sleeping = sick for him.

I felt bad, because I was supposed to teach Sunday School, but I didn’t want to spread our germs to everyone at church. Because then we would get whatever again in another 6 weeks. Random colds = winter is coming.

I guess I could have left him home for an hour by himself, but just the thought of that makes me want to throw up. Me = paranoid much. Except not really, because it’s not that I don’t trust HIM so much as I don’t trust anyone else. If anything, he’s TOO nice, and would probably allow a raving lunatic murdered into the house to wait. Because he still answers the door, even though I’m trying to teach my children the art of hiding. It’s not going well.

So we stayed home, and people hung around doing whatever their hearts desired. I watched reruns of Say Yes to the Dress and wondered if anyone on that show had ever considered sleeves. All the brides always go strapless. I also get a kick out of the bridal consultants who poo-poo to the camera about the bride-to-be’s budget. “I just don’t know WHAT she thought she would get with a budget of only $5000.” Because a $5000 wedding dress is basically a hefty bag with tulle.

And while I wondered these thoughts, Taylor played beauty shop on my hair. She even offered to cut it for me, if I was interested. Because my hair would be much cuter if it was a “leetle bit” shorter and bouncy, instead of long like Tangled. Do your kids ask for hairstyles based on Disney movies? Mine do.

I started a bigger dose of my meds today. The only thing about injections that bother me is that I bruise so easily. Last Sunday I injected my arm, and I have a nasty looking bruise about three inches across. In the reading materials, they stress the importance of alternating your injection sites: arms, thighs, bottoms, and stomach. I was wary of the stomach, because I have issues with things touching my stomach ever since my hysterectomy. It hurts to wear pants. But tonight I decided to suck it up, and talked myself into doing an injection in my stomach, because how bad can it be, right?

WELL.

It was actually pretty glorious because I didn’t feel ANYTHING. Nerve damage for the win. Which is curious, if I can’t feel an injection, why do waistbands bother me so much? WHY PEOPLE?

Now, for the most important news of the day: AMAZING RACE STARTS TONIGHT. You’re welcome for the reminder.

Two Birds, One Stone

You know how your body gets so tired, that your eyes go blurry? I am having that right now. So please excuse any grammatical and spelling errors that are certain to happen here.

This past week, we’ve taken turns passing around some sort of virus. It’s gone through all of the kids, and I’m halfway waiting to come down with it myself. Of course, so far I’m in the clear, and I attribute this the fact that I’ve been avoiding my kids as much as possible.  I could lie and say that I’m avoiding them because of my medications/weakened immune system/doctors told me to stay away from sick people, or I can just embrace that, that is the type of parent I am. You are sick? Here is a throw up bucket, but please try to make it to the toilet.

I don’t’ know how parents who don’t have a throw up bowl function. Maybe they just have trained the kids on vomiting etiquette better than I have? Or maybe they’re magical and their kids don’t get sick.

When I was in school, I loved sick days. I never understood students who had a perfect attendance record. Then again, I wasn’t usually sick on my sick days. My senior year was awesome because I made the chronic illness list, thereby giving me the freedom to do things during the day such as canoeing down the river.  Sick days are never fun if you’re actually sick.

One time, I had pink eye, and being the fair complexioned person that I am, I looked like an albino rabbit. White hair, white skin, red eyes. I would have made a great vampire.

Do you put your cart in the return area after you grocery shop? When I lived in Arizona, I didn’t. Because there was no wind, and the ground was flat. You could just leave your cart, and it wouldn’t move.  Here I put the cart back in the stall because the ground is uneven and it gets really windy. Virginia has made me a more polite grocery shopper.

During our grocery rounds today, I took my kids out to lunch. We went to Panda Express. This may not be a big deal to you, but you have to understand that they didn’t have a drive thru. That makes it a big deal. Because we had to get out of the car, and eat in the restaurant. Which means that myself and my children both had to be presentable enough to go out in public.

My kids are great in public. A family at the table next to us, a mom, dad, and child, were watching as we ate. today.  The mom said to me, “I don’t know how you do it.  One is enough for me.” which made me sad for the little girl, because the way the mom said it, she may has well slapped the kid in the face. Her tone sounded more along the lines of, “I will never have any other kids because this monster child is killing me slowly.” It’s never good to hear resentment.

My elbows hurt. Really badly. I have an appointment with the rheumatologist this week, and I get to have a bone density scan. Not that the elbows is related. I’m just saying that it’s a JOINT and I’m having x-rays of said joints in 5 days. Two birds, one stone.

Q&A: Because you've asked

We are going old school Q&A, because 1) I have a lot of new readers (hi guys) and 2) I’ve been getting a lot of questions from you all lately.

And since I would very much like to be your eFriend, I have decided to oblige…. because I’m a nice person. Also? OLD SCHOOL MEME BLOGGING FOR THE WIN.

Although, technically, I guess it isn’t really a meme. But also technically, I don’t really care.

How old are you?

29…. Yes, I’m a baby, and yes, I’ve had a lot of life.

What were you voted in high school?

I hated high school. I didn’t even want to go to graduation, but my mom made me. Naturally, I was voted nothing, because that would have required me to talk to people and have friends.

Where have you traveled?

I haven’t done much traveling, because that usually requires money, and… yeah. That’s pretty much that. I’ve been to Mexico a couple of times, and I’ve driven through a lot of states. As far as actual visiting goes, that would include: California, Utah, New Mexico, Colorado, Missouri, New York, Virginia, Pennsylvania, Delaware, New Jersey, and Maryland.

What is your favorite hair product?

Hair spray. I don’t even have a favorite kind, because there are different sprays for different styles. But I HAVE to have hair spray.

What is your hidden talent?

If I told you, it wouldn’t be hidden anymore. Unless you count making people uncomfortable as a talent. I am REALLY good at that.

What do you want for Christmas?

I would like new knifes and cooking pots. I haven’t gotten new kitchen stuff for over 11 years, and it’s not like I got the top of the line stuff.  I cook every day, and my kitchen supplies are past their prime.
I would also like gift cards to Home Depot or Lowe's so that I can finish some projects around the house. Walls don’t build themselves you know.

What did you want to be when you were little?

I wanted to be an entomologist. I LOVED bugs and used to collect them. I still like bugs more than an average person, but I’m not fascinated by them anymore. I also wanted to write books, which is still a possibility.

Is it pop or soda?

Both. I grew up saying pop, then started saying soda, and now they’re pretty interchangeable.

What is your favorite movie?

I honestly don’t have a favorite movie. I don't really have a favorite anything actually. I have things I like more than other things, but yeah. Pretty lame. I like musicals, war movies, and science fiction. I am not a fan of love stories.

Please tell me you've all seen the movie just friends?

Unfortunately, yes. It was painful to watch.

Team Jacob it Edward? Or mike Newton?

The BOOK Edward, all the way.

If aliens took over the planet and gave you the choice between saving the world's supply of chocolate or an ocean filled with Dr. Pepper, which would you choose?

That is a trick question. And I would choose death.

In your opinion, what is the ugliest mammal?

Um… I don’t know. I really never thought about it. I dislike cats.

What is one show you watch (or have watched) that you're embarrassed to have the general public know about?

MTV reality shows. I can’t help myself.

If you were Rosemary, in the movie Rosemary's Baby, would you willingly take care of the devil's infant spawn?

I have not watched this movie, because I can’t handle movies like this. Babies are sweet perfection.

Do you like your dream men with long or short hair?

I like scruffy. Could care less about the hair.

Are you handy with tools or a brainiac genius?

BOTH. Don’t be intimidated by my skills… I’m just really well rounded.

Why do you turn off your comments when I have perfectly relevant and wonderful things to say?

Because sometimes I don’t want to HEAR what you have to say. I know, that’s harsh. It’s just that sometimes, I want to say whatever I need to say, and have that be the end of it. I don’t want feedback, or encouragement, or anything else. I just need to get it off my chest and out of my system.
BUT, I haven’t done that in a while, so… YOU’RE WELCOME.

Do you like random drunken commenters, or do they blow?

I like them. I like them a lot.

If you couldn't live in the USA anymore, where would you want to live and why?

I’ve always wanted to live in Russia. I don’t know why. I don’t speak Russian or anything. I’m just fascinated by the thought is all.

What one of your children do you see yourself in most and why?

Ooh, this one is tough. I honestly don’t know. Thaddeus has my nerdiness, Blayne has my stubborn streak, Daniel has my sense of humor, and Taylor has my bossiness.

What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?

I don’t really get embarrassed, so nothing? I have embarrassed people WITH me, but I have a pretty high tolerance for my own behavior.
OH WAIT! When I fell down and sprained both of my ankles IN FRONT OF MY MALE NEIGHBORS…. IN A DRESS. I wanted to die.

Have you ever been a redhead?

Yes. Yes I have. Long, long ago, before I had children, I used to change the color of my hair all the time. It’s been red, blue, green, pink, orange, white, black, purple, and etc. It’s also been just about every style from super short to super long. My natural hair is blonde and curly.

Were you born in the Mormon church? If so, is it ever something that you've thought about leaving or is it such a part of who you are that it's YOU?

Yes, I was born and raised as a Mormon. It’s a huge part of who I am, and while I have never thought about leaving it, it is something that I had looked into and researched on my own. I think that with any religion, you have to find if it’s right FOR YOU, whether your parents share your faith or not. You can’t live on someone else’s faith and feel whole.

What’s your favorite cereal?

Lucky Charms. And I save the marshmallows for last.

What was the last thing you ate?

A nectarine. Because they are delicious and in season.

What is one of your favorite quotes?

I am very inspired by quotes, and I’ve had different sayings that have helped me throughout my life. Right now, my motto is “I Can Do Hard Things”.

When you have 30 minutes of free-time, how do you pass the time?

It depends on what TIME it is, and whether or not I’ve taken any medications. I prefer to read, but sometimes, my eyes go blurry, so I have to close one eye and kinda squint, which is not really ideal, so then I’ll watch TV instead. I would go to bed, but then I’d just lay there, awake, not doing anything. Do you like that I automatically assume my free time is at night before bed?

What is stashed under your bed?

Currently, two closet doors. That my children ripped off of their closets. They were using them as slides.

What do you miss most about being a kid?

This is going to sound dumb, but I miss homework. I liked having projects and reports and plans of things to do… I am REALLY GOOD at homework.

What’s your favorite holiday?

Halloween! I love everything about it.

You said you expected the MS diagnosis, why?

I had been having a lot of weird symptoms for a lot of years, and I just had a gut feeling that it was Multiple Sclerosis. I am pretty in tune with my body, and I just knew something was off. I had looked into a few of the different symptoms, and MS is the only thing that made sense. I had no idea that anything MORE than that was wrong, but I'm not all that surprised either.

How do you have such a good attitude about your health? I would be a mess!

Well, like I said, I knew it was coming. It's also not that big a deal.. I mean, it's a THING, don't get me wrong, but I'm not dying. Am I happy about it? Not really, but what can you do? You just do the best you can with what you've been given, and you learn to deal. That being said, of course there are days when I hate it. There are days when my body hurts so badly that I can barely get out of the bed. But focusing on the things I CAN'T do don't help anyone. I'd much rather focus on the things I CAN do, and go from there.

What’s your favorite color?

Gray, pink, and white. But only specific shades of those colors. All pinks are not created equal.

If you have any other questions, I’d be more than happy to answer them! Email me or leave them in the comments! Thanks!

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Not what I expected

I feel like I’m in a dream. My life is in a lull as I adjust to yet another new normal.

On the one hand, I’m not feeling anything that hasn’t already been felt by hundreds of other people, but on the other hand, it’s ME and MY LIFE, and it’s new FOR ME. So I get really annoyed with people who met someone once 5 years ago that had a cousin who tried X and have I looked into it?

Here is the thing, YES, I have looked into things. I’ve looked into alternative treatments, and diets, and herbs, and supplements, and all that other junk that you’re suggesting. I’ve looked into it, I’ve actually tried a lot of it, and I’m doing what I know is best for me.

I just get frustrated by people that want to help. I don’t want your help. When I need help, I ask for help. I know my limits, and I know what I’m capable of. I don’t need people to feel sorry for  me. I don’t need people to treat me differently. As far as you’re concerned, our relationship is exactly the same. end of story.

It seems like I’ve suddenly gained new friends. And the thing of it is, I don’t think they’re my FRIENDS so much as they feel really great after talking to me/reading something I wrote, because they might have had a crap day, but at least they’re not THAT bad.

Which is fine. Everyone does that. Everyone looks at a situation and says, Dang, I’m so glad that is not me.

But you don’t have to do it out loud to my face, because while I might have issues, I’m not stupid, and I can see right through your crap. And now? Now I’m going to mess with you, because that is  what I like to do to people that annoy me.

And this is not going at all where I thought it was going to go when I sat down to write something this morning, and I don’t care. We could blame the MS, and the new medicine, or we can just recognize that this is the kind of person I am. I don’t care what other people think, I never have, I am just me, and that’s good enough.

Just FYI

I am a stabby person. So, you know:

And that’s pretty much that.

Reassurance

The best and worst thing about blogging is when you have nothing to say.

There isn’t anything important going on, and you don’t have any exciting news to share, but you still feel some sort of pull to connect. To put something out there and share your story, however insignificant you think it is that day.

Today is a typical Monday. I started Rebif again last night, because I’ve decided to take it before bed in the hopes that I can sleep off the worst of the symptoms. And by taking it Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday, I am not messing up any part of the weekend. Not that we have PLANS on the weekends, but on the off chance that we MIGHT indeed come up with a plan, I would like to be able to execute said plan in a fairly organized, and non-nauseating way.

The rest of the weekend was spent reassuring my children that I am okay, that they won’t get sick, that I’m not going to die, and that I LIKE getting shots. They almost believe me. Plus, I’m letting them push the button on my auto-injector, and then someone else puts my band-aid on. And I make sure that I’m smiling the whole time and that we laugh about how silly it all is. Because I need for them to see ME and not all the baggage that I have started carrying. So now it’s a game and a thing and it’s exciting instead of depressing.

In other news, good TV starts again this week. This is exciting, because at this point in my life, where I spend a lot of time laying down on the couch, I need choices. And I am sorry, but I can only watch so many re-runs of The Golden Girls and The Nanny before I feel the need to rip my ears off.

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How To Play Ninja

Sometimes my boys play ninja.

It sounds like this: "kkkeeeeiiiii" and "hoooaaahhh" and "tttsssss" and "UGH"

And sometimes the line between a friendly fight between Ninja's and Mortal Enemies is blurred.

That sounds like this: "AAGGHH!!" and "WAAAAHHHH" and "ATTACK!" and "OHMYEYE" and "MOMMY!"

Which is invariably followed by a muffled apology.

And a valuable life lesson.

And that is how you play Ninja.

Sleep Study Results

So my BRAIN sometimes FORGETS to tell my body to BREATHE.

Which is why I don't sleep very well.

It's completely neurological, and, well, there's not a whole lot they can do about it.

THEREFORE: nothing in my life will change with this information, except that I can now add it to the list of things wrong with me.

Consider yourselves updated.

The difference between bad and BAD

I’ve been in hiding for the last week or so.

It’s hard to describe how truly awful I feel right now, and I feel like nobody wants to hear it or cares.

You see, I feel bad all the time, so when I feel REALLY bad, it just seems like overkill.

But then when I think about it, I don’t complain or actually tell people how I really feel, because I don’t want to share that kind of information with most people, because most people aren’t actually really interested in me as a person. They’re interested in appearing nice and saying hello and all of that, but I have found that most people are interested in being POLITE and FRIENDLY, but not in actually being a real friend.

Which in a round about way brings me to two Sundays ago when I dropped a BOMBSHELL on my Sunday School class by pointing out that “not being mean” is not the same thing at all as “being nice”. Blew. Their. Minds.

At any rate, I have been in hiding for a week because I feel like crap. And yesterday, as I was standing in line at the grocery store, I just about died. In one fell swoop, I was feverish, my legs stopped working, and I had to hold on the cart for dear life. I was shaking so badly that I dropped my purse, and had to have the cashier take my card out of my wallet. I couldn’t breathe, I could hardly walk out of the store, and it took everything in my power to just. make it. home. And did I mention that my tongue stopped working? And that I had drool coming out of my mouth for a good portion of yesterday? It was bad. It was a bad day.

It was also hot, so I don’t know if there’s any kind of correlation with the temperature, or if it was something else… basically, my body freaked out for a good 8 hours yesterday, just for kicks.

But today? Today I’m fine.

I wish I could say the same for my kids.

I didn’t realize how much this was affecting them until this morning.

They’re worried about me.

They’re worried about whether or not they can take care of me.

And it sucks. Because if I’m not at the bus stop, my kids shouldn’t have to worry about WHY I’m not there. They shouldn’t come in the door, and find me laying on the couch, and offer to get me my medicine.

They’re great. They’re fabulous kids…. but they’re just kids. And their dad is gone on business right now. And Thaddeus thinks that he has to take care of me, and he has had two bad days at school, because of me. Because he is worried about me, and worried about things he can’t control. So he’s trying to control everything else. And he can’t. And he’s getting upset. And I’m getting upset. Because it SUCKS. It sucks really, really bad that my 7 year old can’t just be SEVEN.

And right now? I really, really hate this disease.

I don’t even SLEEP right

I think I failed my sleep study.

All I know is that after I got hooked up to everything, I laid in the bed at the sleep clinic, wide awake.

Then when I finally fell asleep, it was MY normal.

Which is to say that I toss and turn all night.

(I can’t help it. It is what it is.)

And this morning, when the sleep technician lady came in to unhook me from the eleventy billion wires I was attached to, she asked if the bed was uncomfortable… because I was extremely restless.

Of course, I said everything was fine, and that’s just how I sleep.

And she goes, “Huh.”

Which, we can all agree, means, “Woah lady, you have issues.”

I can’t wait to see what the doctor thinks about all of this. Maybe I’ll get to sleep with a mask! Or get super duper sleeping pills! Because we all know I need MORE pills!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go have a very UNrestful nap.

Video Diary

Happy Monday guys.

Please enjoy the latest installment of our Monday Morning Madness.

(I’m trying out a name. I don’t really like it though. GAH. Coming up with brilliant names is hard.)

Also please excuse my bedhead.

Family Feature Friday: Thaddeus

Thaddeus is in 2nd grade this year. He’s a very big helper around the house, and is 100% all boy all the time.

He likes to pretend to be Indiana Jones (he needs a satchel) and thinks that reading is cool.

 

He’s pretty goofy and likes to trick people and play jokes.  He cracks himself up and laughs so hard that he can’t breathe.

Thaddeus is a teeny bit prone to dramatics, which means that everything is REALLY, SUPER EXCITING or REALLY, TERRIBLY AWFUL.  There is no middle ground.

He also is a very black and white person. You are right, or you are wrong. Things are this way, or they are that way.  He has a very definitive view of the world, which I find refreshing.

Thaddeus is also very logical and mechanically minded. He asks questions until he understands something completely, and then he uses and applies that information. He learns about a particular subject until he is satisfied with himself. Subjects he has taken on include the planet Neptune, Abraham Lincoln, and Dragons.

Thaddeus can fold about 10 different kinds of paper airplanes (also a heavily researched subject) and will fold different planes for certain wind factors. His favorite paper airplane fold is the Sea Plane.

He’

Thaddeus likes to wear his hair his way. Sometimes he’ll grow it out long like a surfer, and sometimes he sports a mohawk. He actually understands hair color better than some of the adults I know, and will sometimes tell clients how HE thinks they should do their hair. It’s pretty much awesome.

Knock ‘em Dead, Sweetheart

When Daniel got off the bus today, he told me that he had a bad day.

When I asked him why, he said it was because he got a yellow.

(If you’re not familiar with this behavior system, Green=Good, Yellow=Warning, Red=Bad)

And when I asked why he got a yellow, he said it was because he hit someone BACK.

“I didn’t hit him FIRST mom. That mean boy hit me hard so it hurt, so I hitted him back HARDER.”

To which I responded, “Good. As long as you don’t hit someone first, you’re okay.”

Because in my house, I teach my kids to not hit FIRST.

But hitting someone back? I’m totally good with.

Knock ‘em dead, sweetheart, knock ‘em dead.

Reason #19 that kids are awesome*

  

 

*this story is real. let’s talk about the crush I had on on the oldest boy in 3 ninjas, 20 years ago.

School is in Session: Hallelujah

Today was the first day of school: Awesome.

Today it poured: Not awesome.

The bus showed up on time: Awesome.

Laying on the couch all day because rain makes my body hurt: Not awesome.

Not having to worry about people being bored: Awesome.

Taylor having free reign of the house and Pokémon cards: Awesome.

Realizing that three of your kids are pretty much the same height: Awesome.

Having a routine again: Super Awesome.

First Day Of School: September 6, 2011

Thaddeus - 7 years, 2nd grade: Taylor – 4 years, preschool: Daniel - 5 years, Kindergarten: Blayne - 6 years, 1st grade

One More Day….

I didn’t do a video diary today because it’s a holiday, which means that the DadGuy is home, and you know what’s really awkward? Trying to record a video when someone is making faces and rolling their eyes at you. YOU WIN DADGUY, YOU WIN.

Tomorrow though, my house should be almost silent because SCHOOL STARTS IN THE MORNING.

We are super excited about it.

And by we, I mean me.

The children are happy and all, but *I* am ECSTATIC.

Naturally, we’ve been counting down the hours until the school bus comes, and the kids are all geared up for our annual Back To School Feast. It’s special because we use a fancy tablecloth, the good dishes, and we drink from goblets… every drink is more delicious in a goblet.

We’ve also set out our clothes, polished our shoes, and set the alarm clocks JUST IN CASE we sleep in for the first time ever in our lives.

Our backpacks are hanging by the front door, our pantry is filled with acceptable school snacks, and come tomorrow morning, 75% of the Bingham’s will be in school full time.

We. Can’t. Wait.

Hold Up

So here is the thing:

There are too many NEW THINGS happening inside my body at once, which is making every part of me hate all the other parts of me, causing a war to end all wars.

So the NEW PLAN is to revert to the way things were for the time being, because the system is shutting down.

ERGOE. I bought a case of Dr. Pepper.

Pain pills are much more effective when followed by a soda chaser.

Plus, when I mentioned to the doctor that after my first injection, I was awake for three days, he was prompted to ask about my sleeping habits in general which made my husband, who accompanied me to said appointment, LAUGH OUT LOUD…. HYSTERICALLY.  Then he proceeded to tell the doctor everything he’s ever noticed about my night time habits. (Like he has room to complain.)

Now I get to do a sleep study, because APPARENTLY, it isn’t normal to only sleep for a few hours every now and then. And I GUESS that most grown ups sleep through the night too. pffht. THAT’S WHY I WAS AWESOME AT BABIES.

Family Feature Friday: Blayne

Blayne is in the middle of a growth spurt. At this point in time, she is slightly taller than her older brother, thanks to her long, long Christensen legs. 

Blayne marching in the church parade on the 4th of July

This has been giving us quite a problem with school shopping, because the pants that fit her inseam, are too big around the waist, yet too tight in the rear. What can I say, the girl’s got curves.

Blayne has also been a HUGE helper to me this summer. She’s incredibly smart and has been reading up a storm. Her favorite color is still pink, and Puppy still accompanies us everywhere.

She’s a great swimmer, and has spent the summer getting tanner, and blonder.

 

She is very excited for school to start next week, and has been filling Daniel in on everything he needs to know about school. Basically, it boils down to raising your hand, always using an inside voice, and don’t forget that you can have PINK MILK at lunch… or chocolate if you want.

And that is what Blayne has been up to.

Orientation

Kindergarten Orientation was tonight.

Daniel is going to do so good in school.

Meanwhile, there were a few “high maintenance” parents in there.

See, at our school, they take the kids on a little bus ride, to practice for field trips.

And while the kids are riding the bus, the parents go back to the classroom and can talk to the teacher and ask any questions they might have.

These are the questions the poor, poor woman got asked, while myself and another mom, who I decided I liked, tried not to fall to the floor in hysterics.

“When do you test for the gifted program?”

“Are you sure that you have enough experience to be teaching my child? Because my daughter is special.”

“I know that the school doesn’t want a bunch of parents in the room the first day, but I’m going to stay until they’re ready for me to leave. Will that be a problem?”

“When do you start grading the kids?”

“What books are you reading this year?”

“What if my child has special needs? Are you going to be able to work with them one on one?”

And ON and ON and ON.

There was one particular lady that is CONVINCED her child is a genius. And when she learned that they don’t really make kindergarteners do advanced reading comprehension tests, she had to wonder out loud if this was really the right place for her son. Who was eating the fake fruit at the play kitchen.

Another lady was having separation anxiety. Not her kid, HER.

And another lady launched into a diatribe about meeting her sons special needs, and I was wondering if maybe he was, you know, SPECIAL NEEDS special needs, but then she clarified that he wasn’t, in fact, THAT kind of special. He just has special needs. As in, special treatment.

And one parent asked if it was a peanut free school (no), so the teacher asked in all seriousness, is your child allergic to peanuts? Because we will take special precautions… and the answer was no.  The lady was just curious.

Of course, I have to tell you about another mom who basically offered to buy some computers for classroom use. Because she sees that there are only 4, and SURELY that’s not enough. FOR A CLASSROOM OF FIVE YEAR OLDS…. Typing. It’s the new penmanship.