Information Overload

So... you know how YESTERDAY I admitted that I actually WAS having side effects? Yeah. Well, my neurologist is NOT A FAN of that.

Especially considering that I'm only on 20% of the actual dose.

And APPARENTLY, when you take a medication, they would like for that to FIX an issue,

And not make it so you would actually have to take 2 MORE medications to counteract the side effects from the one... especially when I'm not even on the full dose yet.

SO.

Tomorrow I get to go back in and talk about more medications.

Naturally, I've been doing my "research" which pretty much consists of google-ing everything ever written about MS drugs, which helps me understand the various differences between therapies, but it does NOT help me make a decision. They all have their pros and cons.

(And can we talk about how everyone has conflicting information? You need to suppress your immune system! You need to increase your immune response! Chemotherapy is the answer! Diet and exercise will fix you! GAH. TOO MUCH INFORMATION!) 

So I have decided to just do whatever my doctor tells me to do.

Because I am an excellent patient like that.

I’m still new at this…

Want to know what’s awesome? Thinking that you are feeling GREAT and that you aren’t having any side effects to your new medications, and then realizing that YES, in fact, YOU ARE. And these new symptoms are completely and TOTALLY related to a condition for which you are already being treated.

Oh yeah, that’s good stuff right there.

Suffice it to say, I have been researching options for treating my side effects.

This morning is when I decided that I had become irritable.

Okay, more like downright peeved.

And the worst of it is, you KNOW that this isn’t YOU, and this isn’t how you would typically respond to whatever, but you just can’t help it. Really, it’s an amazing feeling that I don’t recommend to anyone.

And can we please discuss mouth sores? Because they make eating, breathing, and talking SUPER fun. #blech.

And the sucky thing is I haven’t been on the medication long enough to even know if it’s WORKING. Because my arms and legs still go numb, I’m still super shaky, and can’t remember anything. Did I tell you that I fell down in the library on Saturday? Because I did.  Thank goodness nobody saw me. This numb leg thing is KILLING me. (I sound dramatic. NOT a side effect.)

  At any rate, I’m waiting for my doctor to call me back, because that’s pretty much what I do these days.

Video Diary: 8.29.2011

Happy Monday everyone.

So far today, we’ve had two doctor appointments, five immunizations, 2 flu-mists, and one dose of antibiotic (cherry bubblegum flavored).

And all before lunch. 

Plus, I decided that I liked having a video diary last week, so I did it again.

BECAUSE THAT’S HOW I ROLL.

PS. We survived the weekend, our house is still standing, and we didn’t even have to break out the flashlights.

Hurricane Update

It's 4 o'clock in the afternoon, and it's been raining all day.

The wind is starting to pick up, and the clouds are getting darker.

Hurricane Irene is on it's way.

We've been tracking the storm online, and our area only has a tropical storm warning at this point. (Updates are coming in so fast!)

We think that this is pretty exciting as far as weekends go, and while we think we'll be fine, we are taking a few precautions.

We've tied the bikes down, and brought a few things inside.

We are enjoying the flash flood warning updates, because they strike fear into your heart. (YOU WILL ALL DROWN! DON'T DRIVE ANYWHERE!)  We live by a marina, but we also have a drainage basin right behind our house, so we're going to agree that they cancel each other out.

MOSTLY, I'm concerned about the power situation and bored kids.

BORED CHILDREN ARE TERRIFYING.

Last night, I stayed up putting together activity kits for the kids and this morning, we braved the wind and went to the library.

I made sure that ALL of the laundry was done, because I cannot handle the thought of running out of clean underwear.  

We have plenty of food storage, thanks to my righteous upbringing, and as I stood in line at the grocery store on Friday, among chaos and near hysteria, I was really glad that I had been taught to always be prepared for an emergency.

All in all, we're as ready as we're going to be.

Come on Irene.

Family Feature Friday: Danny Mack

Danny starts kindergarten this year.

He is so excited that he can hardly wait. You see, I always told him he would go to school when he turned FIVE, and he turned FIVE in May and was sorely disappointed to find out that his mom was a big fat liar and that he wouldn’t REALLY be going to school until he was five AND A HALF. (These things matter.)

At any rate, we’ve been counting down the days until Daniel is a REAL school-kid.

What’s my favorite thing about him right now? Easy. The way he talks.

He has a little bit of a speech problem, so instead of saying “Right” he says “Yight”. And he says “Yight” a lot because about a hundred times a day, he repeats something that I have just said and adds, “Yight Mom?”

me: “You have to drink water.”

Danny: “Yeah. You have to du-wink water, yight Mom?”

Usually it’s very cute and endearing, but sometimes I can’t quite understand what he is saying. Then he gets frustrated with me. For example, the other day, he asked me to please draw a DayRobot.

“A DayRobot?” I asked. “No, a DAYRobot,”  he says. So I repeat myself, “A DAYRobot?” “NO! A DAYRobot!”

So I tried things that rhyme. A SAYRobot? PLAYRobot? MAYRobot? We were getting nowhere fast.

Daniel was frustrated to the point of tears, so I  asked Blayne to see if she could understand what he was saying.

“a DAYRobot!” he tells her.

“A SLAVE ROBOT,” she translates.

Me = grateful for bilingual children.

AND everyone is mad at each other too.

I have been working on a new project with my very good, very artistic friend Melissa.

We are very excited about it, and hope to have everything ready to roll out on October 1.

Of course, we could have it ready BEFORE October 1, but that would probably cause at least one of us to spontaneously combust into a million fiery pieces of ash.

In other news, Northern Virginia has declared a state of emergency.

BASICALLY what this means is that now the grocery stores are going to be out of food because people like to freak out over any kind of inclement weather. (Just a casual observation I’ve had over the years. Snow = no milk on the shelves.)

Of course, I usually do my errands on Friday, so this does not bode well for our house. Naturally, I called DadGuy and asked him to stop by the store on his way home from work today and get stuff. What kind of stuff? Totally his call. I just don’t care all that much. The children requested ice cream.

What mostly annoys me is that I watered all the plants this morning, and an hour later, it started raining. WHAT a waste of a chore.

Tonight I am giving myself my first shot of Rebif. I am expecting to feel terrible, because then I might be pleasantly surprised. Or not. But the worst is when you think you’ll be FINE and then you’re NOT FINE. Those are the worst kinds of days. If you expect everything to go wrong, then your day always seems fabulous in comparison.

Yesterday the boys decided to ignore my sage advice and ride bikes and play outside without shoes. Daniel crashed his bike and cut two of his toes, and Thaddeus got bitten or stung by something, and his foot is red, hot, and swollen. Serves them both right, mother knows best.

On rainy sort of days, I get confused. It’s never the time I think it is, and everything just feels off. And on the one hand, the day seems to drag on indefinitely, and on the other hand, it’s suddenly time for bed. I don’t understand how it works at all, but it’s discombobulating. Plus, it makes my kids fight with each other like CUH. RAZY. Right now, they all hate each other and are fighting about dumb things like whether or not someone is breathing too much. Did you know that people breathe too much? Because according to my sources, this happens fairly often.  

ALSO: If you could have any kind of party/event, what would your theme be?

Lessons in Parenting

Tonight at dinner, Blayne told me she didn’t like tomatoes.

I told her that, that was fine, and that she no longer gets to eat: pizza, spaghetti, lasagna, ketchup, salsa, or anything else that has tomatoes in it.

Then she ate her soup. 

This is Insomnia

I used to wake up early.

I would relax and watch a show before bed, then I would have a drink of water, brush my teeth, use the restroom, and get into bed. And I would wake at least once more in the night to get another drink, brush my teeth, and use the restroom again.

Every night, for as long as I can remember.

Then I started having babies. And I would be up, and then baby would be up, and then it would be morning, and the whole cycle started over again.

Bit was okay, because I never really have needed a lot of sleep.

In the last few years though, the not sleeping has begun to have a life of it’s own.

It’s a little before six in the morning, which means that I have now been awake for more than two days.

Fully awake.

I tried laying down. I tried having a bath. I rubbed some oil on my feet, and then on my neck. I read a book. I folded some laundry. I read another book and took some sleeping pills, and still, nothing.

It’s the nothing that kills me.

Usually I try to fill the time with a quiet activity that doesn’t require much lighting.

Jobs like scrubbing the floors by hand. Washing down the walls. Oiling the cabinet doors. Folding the laundry.

There is a peacefulness in the tasks that at least allow me some sort of rest. The repetition soothes me… it gives me something to focus on besides the pain in my body.  I don’t think about how much my legs hurt, instead I begin to count.  I count the chains on the chandeliers, once and then twice. I count the floorboards, and the books on the shelf, and then slats on the wooden blinds. I could the seeds on the strawberries in the picture on the wall, because this is my rest.

My children will be waking soon. DadGuy will be headed to work. We will have kindergarten screenings and back to school shopping, and we’ll do all the typical family-type errands.

But it won’t be quite right, because I won’t be there enough. My body will be present, and so will my heart, but my mind will be watching the clocks count the minutes, as I try to distract myself from the fact that I haven’t slept. Tonight after dinner, I’ll encourage quiet time with books. We might watch a movie, as long as it’s not very exciting.

I’ll do everything in my power to facilitate rest, so that at the very worst, I can get to sleep, and at the very best, I can stay asleep.

Never being fully alive and never being fully awake… this is insomnia.

Video Diary | August 22, 2011

We made a video diary. Because I’m that lazy today. And my arms/hands are numb which makes typing a BIG FAT PAIN in the behind. 

Caroline Bingham Video Diary – 8.22.11

And on a totally unrelated note, DUDES. My drug company is awesome. Which, when you take into account how much money I will spend with them in just the next year alone, you realize that of COURSE it should be. It’s just nice to speak to people that are ACTUALLY HELPFUL and who believe in good customer service. It’s refreshing.

And again, with the entirely unrelated: I am annoyed by google and it’s trying to make everything into one account, and not letting me use my primary email address as my primary email. and THEN it didn’t even let me link my existing gmail account, because, it already existed. So now I have yet ANOTHER email. Which is just what I didn’t need. IT’S SO DUMB. (rant over)

No Soliciting

I don’t answer the door. I have even been known to pretend I don’t hear it, drop to the floor, and crawl stealth like to the window to close the blinds slowly….. even when children are screaming in the background.

My children, however, answer the door should the wind perchance to blow.

Here is the thing: The people that I would LET in? Know not to come over without calling.

So when my kids answered the door, and a very nice looking young gentleman was standing on my porch steps, I died a little inside.

The very nice looking young gentlemen who come to my house are always “trying to make a better life for themselves” and are usually former something or others. They don’t want donations, because they are trying to WORK and EARN their living, and they don’t want a handout. They WOULD very much like to sell you a subscription to a magazine. Or maybe some sort of cleaner. Or, you know, something else entirely.

And I? I just want to get my kids back inside, and get the gentleman off my porch, and pretend that it all never happened.

So when the nice young gentleman began to begin his memorized speech, I interrupted him. I said, “Are you selling something or looking for donations or what? Because I have nothing to give you. I have no money.”

And usually at this time, they begin to tell me that you can “buy now and pay later” but THIS TIME, my kids jumped in.

“Yeah, she has NO MONEY. She spent it all on her medicine.”

“Yeah, my mom has to go to the doctor all the time.”

“My mom has polka dots on her BRAIN!”

“And she even has to give herself SHOTS in the STOMACH!”

“Yeah, and her brain doctor guy has TOYS in his office!”

“And the ‘nother doctor has puzzles… of your GUTS!”

And the nice young gentleman was listening to my children as what can only be described as abject horror as they detailed the different symptoms that I joyfully experience each day. 

And then this nice young gentleman apologized to ME.

“Oh Ma’am, I’m so sorry. That sounds,” looks around in panic, “Uh, yes, well…. I’ll just, you know…. I’m so sorry ma’am.”

And then the nice young gentleman politely excused himself and exited from my street without looking back.

And then I came back in the house and gave all of my kids a candy bar.

Best. Day. Ever.

Family Feature Friday: Taylor

Taylor’s favorite show is Paula…. as in Paula Deen.

She also likes Bobby, and that Rachael lady, and dat ‘nother one that makes dinner in silly spaces. (Chef Robert Irvine: Dinner Impossible)

Basically, Taylor is a chef in training.

So what is she cooking up there? Spaghetti Sauce. Because you couldn’t screw it up if you tried.  (onions, celery, carrot, garlic, mushrooms, peppers, and a couple of cans of diced tomatoes… salt and pepper to taste. a teaspoon or so of dried oregano and basil, a pinch of red pepper flakes, and our secret ingredient.)

Spaghetti sauce is really great for teaching short people to cook because there is a lot of chopping involved, and it cooks over low heat. People always eat more dinner when they made it themselves. ALSO: We are practicing not burning ourselves. It’s going well for THEM and not as much for ME. (I have been “taking one for the team”… you are welcome children-without-burned-forearms)

And THAT is what our cutie caboose Taylor is up to these days.

Haircuts and Doctor Appointments

SO. Back from the doctor. Again. Still don’t quite understand all the test results, and frankly, don’t really care. The important thing is, I DON’T have Lupus. I DO have UCTD (undifferentiated connective tissue disease). Treatment is the same for both conditions, and because of the side effects of the medications, I have to see an ophthalmologist. MORE CO-PAY!

I also have very low Vitamin D. Which is awesome, because I already take a few thousand units of Vitamin D daily. So now I get to take a SUPER supplement once a week.

I also get to have a bone density test in 6 weeks, because if you have low Vitamin D, that usually means that your body isn’t absorbing calcium, which, you know, is what strong bones are made of. (Maybe that’s why I keep hurting my dumb ankles?)

We also went over, IN GREAT DETAIL, health and nutrition. At this point of my life, we want to prevent any of my diseases from progressing further, (did I tell you that my favorite candy is a trigger for me? RIP Sour Patch Kids) so I will follow a pretty strict eating plan for the next six weeks. We’re calling it  “housecleaning”.

After that, we’ll reconvene with the doctor and have another chat.

MY LIFE IS SO GLAMOUROUS. 

In un-related news, the boys got wicked awesome haircuts. Mostly our Aunt Verity will appreciate this.

P.S. Dear Verity, Tad wants you to know that he has THREE STRIPES on the side of his head too. And he’s blonder.

P.P.S. Dear Grandmas, it’s just hair. It all grows back.

P.P.P.S. Dear DadGuy, Surprise!

DID YOU KNOW….

That sometimes when they run a whole gamut of blood tests on you, that one of the tests is called a DRVVT?

And that DRVVT stands for dilute russell’s viper venom time?

And that this is Russell’s Viper?

source

And from what I understand, which let’s be honest, is not much, is that BASICALLY they want to see if my blood can CLOT after being mixed with the venom.

Which, HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! IT DOESN’T!

Of course, I could be totally wrong about all of that, because, like I said, DON’T KNOW MUCH.

BUT! My thyroid tumor is benign. Amen.

The Butterfly Hunter

We were discussing chores the other day.

You see, after living in this house for two-ish years or so, I think I finally have a handle on how to clean the house the quickest, with the least amount of work.

I know that things like that are terribly boring to some people, but I think that those people probably don't have sneaky children that are artistic, which is really code for: my kids color on stuff. Which, incidentally, does not help in the cleaning arena, because the children have colored on builder grade FLAT paint, which, as any mom will attest to, is of the devil.

At any rate, we were talking about chores, and how we should divide things up.

And dear, sweet Taylor offered to do the "most hardest job in the world."

Killing all the butterflies.

You see, this is the hardest job in the world, because FIRST, she would have to FIND THE BUTTERFLIES. And since I'm fairly certain that there are currently no butterflies living in the house, I can only assume that the finding of the butterflies would take a very long time.

SECONDLY, when she DOES find a butterfly, she would have to catch it. Which would be highly amusing because she is rather short, and butterflies are rather tricky. I imagine that a lot of stacking and climbing would be involved.

THEN she would have to catch the butterfly. Except that I was informed that she would need special purple butterfly "glubs" to catch it. Because butterflies only like purple. Not even pink. If you have pink gloves, the butterfly will BITE YOU with their TINY CHOMPY TEETH.

So, after putting on her special purple gloves, and climbing to the tippy top of whatever, then you have to sing a special butterfly catching song. It goes like this: "Butterfly! Fly Fly Fly! Butterfly! Me is your friend! Butterfly! I love you!"

This song is EXTRA silly because you are REALLY tricking the butterfly.

And when that butterfly is good and tricked, then it will land in the palms of your hands. And after you finish singing your sweet, sweet lullaby of death, you would squash it with a hammer. But not daddy's hammer, just a toy hammer, so that it would only hurt a little bit.

And then, if the butterfly was really pretty, then we could put it in a frame on the wall by Mommy's other bug. (Because yes, I do have an insect pinned and framed on the wall.)

Needless to say, the discussion about the divvying of the chores did not go as planned.

But I do have an official butterfly killer now, and that has got to count for something.

A Horrible Conundrum

I don’t think knowing that I have arthritis in my neck has helped me any.

In fact, I would venture to say that is has completely ruined my life.

I know that sounds a little melodramatic, but you have to understand that BEFORE, when my neck was aching, I would take some pills, use some essential oils, and call it a day.

But now, AFTER I know what’s going on, my neck hurts all. the. time.

Like, HURT hurts all the time. It’s like I subconsciously gave myself permission to feel crappy, and my neck is rejoicing in the news.

Or it could be the weather.

But I prefer to think that my neck is doing it on purpose.

ALSO: I think it’s growing. Like, in the back, I can feel a HUNCH. It can’t be my imagination because I can FEEL IT…. GROWING… ALL HUNCHLIKE AND STUFF.

Of course, it’s growing from the UNDERNEATH where you can’t see it, because it’s sneaky like that.

And BEFORE, I would totally be able to convince myself that this is all in my head, but now, AFTER, I’m not so sure.

Because I can FEEL it. Therefore, it must be happening.

Essentially, I am coming to realize that my life has been turned into a horrible conundrum of devastating proportions.

For example: let’s talk about a headache. I get headaches every day. BEFORE, I chalked it up to many different things, mostly lack of caffeine and sleep.

But NOW, I am caffeine free, sleeping more, and I STILL HAVE A HEADACHE.

What, may I inquire, is the POINT of going to bed early and not drinking soda if I don’t magically feel better?

WHAT IS THE POINT?

These are the questions that I ask myself…. as I sit here…. growing a hunch….

For the Love of the Blog

When I started blogging, it was love at first site.

Then it turned into long days/nights and hours and hours of really hard work, and it kinda sorta, LOST ITS LUSTER for me.

I don't want to sound like I had some sort of spiritual awakening, or anything like that, but I decided that I was going to go back to where it was fun, and I was only going to do the things I wanted to do.... all for the love of the blog.

Oddly enough, this was exactly at the same time that Elisa, and Julie and I were discussing what to do about the Casual Blogger Conference. (We loved it! We hated it! We loved it! We would do X,Y, and Z differently! We would keep A, B, and C just the same!)

We had even organized a full event to take place on the east coast, when things just went CRAZY INSANE for all three of us, and we had to pull out and refund all of our ticket holders. (Hello Mr. Walk of Shame, how you doing?)

But through it all, we keep coming back to the same idea, the same core values, the same kind of experience that we want to give people.

We wanted to do a whole conference, that instead of focusing on all of the technical and financial aspects, focuses on the love of the blog.

So please be excited about this newest, hybrid conference, where we are highlighting all of the BEST parts of blogging.

The Story At Home Conference is going to Rock. Your. World.

If you have never been to a blogging conference, writing conference, genealogy conference, or storytelling convention, then this is exactly where you should start.

We have the best speakers, teachers, and storytellers from around the nation, coming together the weekend of March 8-10, 2012, in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Where does your story start? At home.

And THAT is what we are going to celebrate.

As we’ve said over and over again, the #1 reason we love blogging so much is because we get to hear your stories. We love getting to know YOU, and what keeps us coming back to your sites again and again is your willingness to share your life with us.

The heart of blogging isn't how many followers you have. It isn't whether or not you make a full time income from your ads. The heart of blogging is the story. And sharing those stories, however you choose to do it, is what blogging is all about.

It doesn't matter how you tell your stories - through your family history, at your child’s bedside, on your blog, or from a stage - YOUR WORDS MATTER.

I guarantee you, that this event will change the way you blog.

And thanks to the support of our very generous sponsors, we are able to bring you this amazing event for just $79, OR you can purchase individual tickets for a specific day for $49.

Most of the announcements for this event will be happening via our Facebook page, so be sure to "like" us so you can follow along.

We only have 700 seats available and spots are going fast, so put it on your calendars, tell your blogging friends and family, and join us as we celebrate the love of the blog.

(Plus, me and Elisa are presenting together. It will be hilarious. And slightly educational. But mostly fun.)

Friday Footnotes

I’m sitting all alone in a quiet house.

DadGuy has taken the kids to a waterpark to have some fun.

I can’t go…. because I wasn’t planning on it, and I went on errands today.

Three stores. With four well-behaved children.

And still…. I’m done for the day.

When I do have feeling in my leg, it’s sharp shooting pains from the soles of my feet up through my hip.

And if I don’t have the shooting pains, then I have a dead rubber leg.

So I can’t go to the waterpark, because I barely made it upstairs to the desk.

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I had a soda today. A medium Dr. Pepper from McDonald’s.

I haven’t had a soda in a couple of weeks.

My leg was throbbing, and I had just finished loading all the groceries into the back of the car, and I decided I had earned a treat.

So I got a drink, that I didn’t even finish, because it doesn’t taste good anymore.

Which is lame, because I had decided that my once a week treat would be a Dr. Pepper…. from a fountain.

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It’s Friday night, which at my house means pizza and a movie, with popcorn.

The boys picked Star Wars, and the girls picked Ghostbusters.

BASICALLY, we can’t wrong.

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I had a “fine needle aspiration” on Wednesday. Which is to say, that my lovely, lovely endocrinologist stabbed me with a very fine needle repeatedly in order to get some tissue samples from the growth that has been growing, on my thyroid.

The procedure itself wasn’t bad. But I always have weird reactions to people sucking things out of me with needles. Because I feel like I am being vacuumed from the inside out.  I break into a sweat and the room gets dizzy, and then I need to throw up. Even when they’re only taking a teaspoon or so out. IT’S OBNOXIOUS. And afterwards, I felt like I had been punched in the throat. Which, if you have ever BEEN punched in the throat, is not a pleasant feeling.

- - - - -

I am officially in the Rebif drug program. They sent me a welcome kit. It was very nice, you know, all things considering.

I now have an autoinjector, and a special travel case. Basically, from this point forward, I’m going to be high maintenance whenever I fly on an airplane. AWESOME.

Which, incidentally, was why we had to go to three stores today. Because I needed alcohol swabs to wash off wherever I’m going to be injecting myself. AND I have a journal, so that I can keep track of where I shot myself and rotate accordingly.

I also bought some of those tiny little circle band-aids. (Just in case I’m a bleeder.)

NOW, all I need is the actual medicine, which is also being shipped to my house.

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And that’s pretty much what we’ve done this week. 

Here’s a song for you by the DadGuy’s friend, Mr. Shresta. (I like the scarf action Mr. Shresta.)

Dog Days of Summer

This summer is not at all going anything like I planned.

I had special activities for every day,

I was going to start all of the kids in piano lessons,

I was going to BE AMAZING.

Instead, we hang around in our pajama’s,

And I yell up and down the stairs (no one is ever where I am)

And we try our hardest not to kill each other.

I am also off the juice,

Which is to say, I am soda free.

So my head wants to explode.

I am also impatiently waiting for a drug company to call me back so that they will give me my meds.

I also don’t know if they will be sending me the drugs directly, or I will be able to pick them up at the pharmacy.

And I have to make a spot in my fridge.

(Because they have to be refrigerated, donchaknow.)

And I’m halfway through The Hellfire Club, and I keep waiting for it to be scary or twisted.

Then again, I think I have a different scary meter than most people, and DEFINITELY a different funny meter.

It’s why teasing my brother is So. Much. Fun.

(He just gets so mad.)

PLUS ALSO: Did you guys watch the new Phineas and Ferb movie last weekend? Because I did and it was AWESOME.

Speaking of children’s television, Dan Li is working on his PhD and needs some parents to help him with his research. It’s about mediation in your kids television viewing. The survey takes about 10-15 minutes, more if you read slowly, and you can participated by clicking HERE.

And on that fine note, I am outta here.

Back to School Shopping was a Bust

Thank you to Crocs for sponsoring this blog post. Please click here to learn more about Crocs’ new Back to School line. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective. All opinions expressed here are my own.

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We went school shopping this weekend.

Of course, by that admission it sounds as though we were successful, so maybe I should say that we TRIED to go school shopping this weekend.

I have the same problem every time my kids need clothes, because half of my kids are built like me, while the other half have the great pleasure of being able to pull anything off the rack and have it look great. Naturally, it’s not the boys that are built one way, and the girls that are built the other. No, there is one of each.

This means that there is no clothes sharing in my house, because the clothes that fit my older kids, don’t fit my younger kids.

It’s incredibly obnoxious.

So when the Tax-Free Back to School Shopping Holiday Weekend rolled around this past weekend, I decided that we should hit it up. 

On Saturday, we went to seven different stores…. and came home with a (singular) shirt.

I just can’t bring myself to purchase pants that don’t fit the right way, and that aren’t quality. (Don’t you dare tell me that all denim is created equally.) And then all the back to school stuff was more for WINTER, and I’m sorry, but we need short sleeves.

At any rate, my back to school shopping? Was a bust.

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Enjoy the Crocs “They’ve Got Summer Inside” video, which features 9 styles from the new line, and they’re clickable! ALSO: There are Easter Eggs hidden in the video. You should find them, because then you get a special surprise with your purchase. <--- That picture right there is your clue.

Thoughts on Reading….

I finally read The Hunger Games. I was very “meh” about the whole thing, and didn’t really care about anyone. I thought I would be outraged or at least care about the ending, based solely on things I read about the series when the last book came out, but I just couldn’t bring myself to love them.  INDIFFERENCE… IT’S WHAT I DO BEST.

I also just finished reading Sons of Fortune by Jeffrey Archer. I’m undecided about him as an author, so I have to read something else he wrote before I come to any conclusion. The only reason I haven’t written him off completely at this point is because he was actually in jail. I don’t know what for, and I don’t want to know, because if it’s for something relatively boring, like tax evasion, or money laundering, it’s not going to help his case.  I’ve made up a very exciting scenario about him IN MY HEAD, and really, that’s what matters.

I read blogs in much the same way that I read books. I don’t have a favorite blogger, and I don’t know that I would recommend anyone as a must read. Sure, there are great blogs about all sorts of great things, but I find that you have to read a lot of them, all the time, and that your interests change, because, well, sometimes I don’t care about things, and sometimes I do.

Take for example right now. Right now I am on a tiny bedroom inspiration kick, because we plan on splitting one of the master bedrooms into two. Which means that I am very specifically looking for information that is relevant to my home, space, and budget.  My house is not big enough for pottery barn anything. Oh, a girl can fantasize and dream, but I think that if you asked Pottery Barn to pretty please do a narrow bedroom that sleeps two and here are your dimensions, they would laugh you back into the cereal box you live in.

I also have been reading all sorts of health books. This is not to say that I am healthy person, because I’m pretty sure that we have disputed that fact soundly, but it is to say that I like to know HOW THINGS WORK. And I like to be able to explain things to my children.

(We had a very interesting week once where we discussed VOLUME and had to do scientific experiments to show how it works, all because someone wanted to know WHY their sauce went UP when their chicken nugget went DOWN. Of course, being my children, we also had to discuss that VOLUME can also refer to the amount of space and height you have in your hair on a good day.)

I started a book by Janet Evanovich, and haven’t been able to get past page 62. I just think, that if you haven’t been able to get my attention by page 62, will you ever succeed?

That, oddly enough, is exactly how I also decided which blogs to unsubscribe from in my reader. I don’t have time to keep giving you chances to wow me. And yes, I want to be wowed. Not all the time, not even most of the time. But I’d say that 25% of the time, I want to be moved to something, be it inspiring, thought provoking, gut wrenching, or what have you.

Of course, I realize that my blog, in and of itself, is not completely amazing all of the time, but I have to tell you a secret called, “sometimes I read my archives and laugh.” This is partly because I amuse myself and partly because I think I’m awesome. Again, not ALL of the time, but enough that I would admit to having a blog of my own accord.

(What, you think that I just volunteer that information to everyone? Heck no!)

HERE’S A LESSON FOR YOU: Not everyone reads blogs, not everyone reads YOUR blog, and a lot of the people you meet JUST DON’T CARE.  If you do happen to meet someone, AND you get around to talking about blogging, THEN you can give yourself a little shout out.  But unless you’re at at blogging conference, or social media event, it’s really, REALLY annoying for you to say, “Hi. My name is  _______. Do you read my blog?” And yes, I am totally giving you this observation from personal experience.

I think it would also be important to note, that just because *I* have a blog, and just because *you* have a blog, doesn’t make us friends. Again, this is another important distinction that I have observed in my own life. Sometimes I feel like saying, I JUST DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR DUMB LIFE, but I don’t, because that would be rude. But I do think it in my head…. often.

Of course, I assume that most everyone feels the same way I do about things, and am usually in some kind of state of disbelief when people deny the words that I speak. You don’t had to admit it out loud, but *I* know, and *you* know that I’m right…. It’s one of my worst qualities, being right all the time.

I am going to start reading a new book tomorrow. It’s called The Hellfire Club, and I picked it because a review on the back flap said, “This is the scariest, goriest, creepiest, sickest, most twisted novel I’ve read in over ten years. It made me afraid to go to sleep at night and I loved every word.”  I’m really excited to see where it goes, because it sounds amazing. You know, if you’re into that kind of thing. (Which I totally am.)

Hopefully, I won’t be disappointed.

How do you decide who to read next?

I Have a Plan

At my appointment today, it was confirmed without a doubt, that I do, indeed, have Multiple Sclerosis.

I think it was the fact that I had oligonclonal bands in my cerebral spine fluid (CSF) and not in my blood serum that did it, because everything up to this point, has been probable MS.

But the results from my spinal, plus the images from the MRI’s, along with my medical history, has made it OFFICIAL.

I’ve spent the last few weeks sorting through information. Because of the nature of auto-immune diseases, and because every patient is different, it’s difficult to find the answers to the particular questions that I have had, because I need to understand EXACTLY what is happening in my body.

I need to have the information, and I need to take notes, and then I have to go home, and think about things. Then I have to go to the library, and do some research, and think about more things. Then I have to sleep on it and talk to my doctor again, and think some more.

I’ve decided that the most important thing for me to do right now is to make a personal journal that records all of the minute details. I’ll be starting my medications soon, more on that later, and I need to know HOW I took them, what were my reactions, what my body temp was…  I have to know what I ate, what kind of exercise I did, what symptoms I am currently having, and more. I have to keep record of all of these things, so that I can find what triggers an attack for me.

The first medication I’m going to try is called Rebif.  DadGuy and I have been discussing what days and times I want to do my injections, because it’s something that I have to take three times a week, with at least 48 hours between doses, but could potentially leave me feeling like I have the flu for up to 36 hours. So, do I take it Monday morning, and have a bad Monday and Monday night? Or do I take it Monday night and have a bad Tuesday?  This decision is so dumb, but it comes down to the weekends. Do I want to be sick on Saturday, or not? I’m leaning towards doing injections in the morning, because with all the other limitations I have right now, I just don’t think it’s fair to my family to take the one day that we all have together, and choose to be sick.  I’d much rather not feel well while people are at school and work, so I can lay on the couch pathetically ALONE.

I also get to have a field nurse come to my house and give me proper training on how to administer my injections. Of course, the injections are also going to make me change the times that I take my other medications, because some have to be taken with food, and others have to be taken on an empty stomach. And I don’t want to take the chance of taking any of them too close to one another, because IF the injections make me as sick as they say they will (gets better after a few months) then I don’t want to take the chance of barfing up half of a digested pill.

THE THINGS I THINK ABOUT THESE DAYS.

I almost feel like I’m in body boot camp.

I’m sure that people will tell me that it’s unnecessary, and that I’m taking things a little too seriously, but I want to have a CONTROL group. So between now, and my next MRI, I want to see if I have a pattern. I want to see if certain foods make me worse, or better. I want to see if there is weather I should avoid, or certain exercises that help, or even just what the best time to go to bed is.

SO. That is the plan thus far. Of course, I am still waiting on other diagnostic tests to find out if I have any more fun diseases lying in wait, but until then, this is my decision.

And I feel really, really good about it.

AND: for those of you who like to compare, like I do, or are going through the same thing, I know you’re there and your emails me the world to me, here are some of the latest lab results. (don’t pretend you’re not interested)

Test Name	Result	Limits/Reference
ANA Titer	1:1280	<1:40
IgG, Quant, CSF	13.3	0.0 – 8.6 mg/dL
IgG, Syn Rate, CSF	53.4	-9.9 – +3.3  mg/day
CSF IgG Index	3.4	0.0 – 0.7
IgG/Alb Ratio, CSF	0.89	0.00 – 0.25
Nucleated Cell, CSF	34	0 – 5 cells/uL
Lymps, CSF	97	40 –80  %

Motherhood Never Stops Being Exhausting

We have had an interesting day at our house.

And by interesting, I mean terrible.

It all started last night, when a certain short person in the house snuck out of bed. When we finally noticed her hiding behind the couch, it was a full two hours PAST bedtime.

Then at about 1am, when we were all in our correct night time places, a different short someone came crawling into my bed because he was cold. And I thought to myself, “Of course you are cold. You took off all of your pajama’s when I was tucking you in because you were hot.”

But I was too tired to really care, so I let him snuggle by me, until I decided that his head was too heavy and I didn’t like how my pinned arm was starting to go numb.

So I made a “nest” at the end of our bed, and kicked him into it.

Then at about 5 this morning, the other boy in the house woke up ready for the day.

Naturally, he needed someone to play with so he woke up EVERYONE. By turning on the lights, and pulling back the covers. And turning on the radio.

And then nobody could go back to sleep.

By 8am, we were all breakfasted, laundered, showered, and every thing else that was on the “list” for the day.

Let’s just say that everything after 8am was downhill.

And at 5 o’clock, I had HAD it.

So I made everyone get ready for bed. Showers, pajama’s, teeth brushed, the whole deal.

Then they started whining about how hungry they were.

And my initial reaction was to let them be hungry, so they could see what it feels like, because, as my children told me, I’m a horrible mommy and they no like me.

(Motherhood is so rewarding.)

But instead, I decided that I would let them eat, when their rooms were spotless and they had apologized to me.

Of course, apologizing is a learned art, because a blanket, “I’m sorry” just doesn’t cut it.

Which means that yes, I make them practice apologizing.

It goes like this: 

"YOU OWE ME AN APOLOGY."

"sorry mom."

"SORRY MOM WHAT."

"sorry that i acted like a wild monkey."

"NO. THAT DOES NOT COUNT. YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR YOU ACTIONS."

"sorry for.... uh.... yelling?"

"AND?"

"and for hitting people..."

"AND WHAT ELSE"

"And, umm.... for, uh... for having a fit about video games.... BUT THEY WOULDN'T LET ME HAVE A TURN! IT WASN'T FAIR! THEY KEPT TAKING THE CONTROLLER AND PUSHING BUTTONS! SO I HAD TO HIT THEM OR ELSE THEY WOULDN'T STOP."

"STOP YELLING. I DON'T CARE ABOUT STUPID VIDEO GAMES. GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM UNTIL YOU CAN APOLOGIZE TO ME FOR REALS."

"But!"

"I SAID GO!"

Rinse, repeat, four times over.

And THEN at dinner, I didn’t let them talk unless their father or I had spoken directly to them.

And I made them use forks.

And chew with their mouths closed.

And I made them eat spinach.

And then I thought to myself, people wonder why moms just want a nap.

IT’S BECAUSE LIFE IS EXHAUSTING.

I Make Stuff

Did you know that I make printables?

I mean, of course you knew a LITTLE bit because remember that one time I started a whole blog for all of the cute downloadable junk I was going to make? Except that then my body decided to crap out on me and that sad little blog has been VERY neglected. Oh well… where was I again?

Oh yes, printables. I make printables each month to coordinate with the visiting teaching message. This month’s message is basically about how awesome women are and how we should support each other. You know, but with more biblical references.

AT ANY RATE:

 

The August 2011 Visiting Teaching Printable is ready for download!

This month’s message can be found by clicking here, and is called A Society of Holy Women.

Printables are sized to fit standard 8.5 x 11 letter sized paper.

Click here to download the August 2011 VT Printable.

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How To Print

-Download the zipped file by clicking the pink “Click Here To Download” button

-Your computer should automatically download a zipped file

-Right click the folder and select “Extract” to open the folder

-You now have the images on your computer ready to print!

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This month’s digital paper pack and elements comes from Just So Scrappy. We used her Summer Fun and Happy Day kits, which are both on sale for just $1.50 right now!

These images are for printed non-commercial, personal use only.

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That is all.

“It will only hurt a bit”

I’m not typically a queasy person, but this new “phase” that I’m in, where I’m continually poked and prodded with sharp objects, has been giving me slight anxiety attacks.

For example, the day before my lumbar puncture, I couldn’t breathe, and I felt like I had spiders crawling up and down my spine. Of course, it’s my own fault for trying to mentally prepare myself before hand, and “read up” on what was going to happen. Then it was like a bad train wreck where I didn’t want to read the side effects and reactions, but I couldn’t NOT know either.

IT IS COMPLETELY RUINING THE INTERNET FOR ME.

Then today, I had another appointment, and I wasn’t sure whether or not they were going to do a biopsy or not.  Of course, being myself, I had to read up on that particular type of biopsy where I discovered that they don’t just poke you once or twice, oh no, they do it between 4 and 6 times. Which means that I will have a needle going in to my neck MORE THAN ONCE.  I was positively beside myself, because even though it SAYS it won’t hurt, I have taken to not trusting anyone.

Also: When they say, it’s not going to hurt, it’s just going to be like a little bee sting, I always wonder, have you ever actually been STUNG by a bee? Because that crap hurts. I would even venture to say that a bee sting hurts more than a scorpion sting, and I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT, because I have been stung by both. And at least with a scorpion, wherever you were stung has the good grace to go numb. Bee stings STING and ITCH and are very unpleasant.

At any rate, TODAY I just had some ultrasounds and got new meds, so it’s like I had an anxiety attack for nothing.  Which is annoying to think that I wasted all that good time worrying and “researching” when I could have been watching television.

But next week, I get to get stuck in the neck a couple of times, so I am planning on taking some really amazing drugs just about 30 minutes before my appointment. When I don’t punch the doctor in the face, I’m sure he’ll thank me for my efforts.