"Well you get to stay home and play all day"
"I don't play. I work."
"Sure you do." eye roll
"I DO! And I have deal with woman stuff too."
"pffht. Woman stuff. Like women have it that much harder than men."
"Ummm. Yeah. We. Do."
"Just keep telling yourself that."
"Hello! Periods, PMS, childbirth, hormones...."
"I have hormones."
"Yeast. Infections."
*****
Oh yes, my dears. I won with YEAST INFECTIONS.
Now if you're one of the lovely souls that has never had a yeast infection, bless your heart. I hope to all goodness that you never have to deal with the itchy, burning, painful, foul smelling vaginal funk that is a yeast infection.
And the best part is, that yeast infections aren't one trick ponies. Oh no. Have you ever breastfed a child? And has that child gotten thrush? And has that sweet little baby passed onto your oh so sensitive boobs THRUSH? Delightful.
For those of you who don't know what Thrush is, it's a yeast infection that babies usually get in their mouth. And depending on the severity, it can move through their systems, and come out the other end. The, ahem, diaper area.
And they can totally give it to the mom.
Yep. YOU can contract thrush on your bosom. (I was going to say nipples but then I would have to say nipples and we don't want that. Even though I just said it twice. Apologies.)
I had the glorious experience of contracting thrush when I was nursing Daniel. Try as we might to get rid of it, we kept passing it back and forth, and back and forth. We were on antibiotics. I did the whole pumping/breast shield thing. After 6 weeks of the most awful, stabbing, piercing time of my life, I quit breastfeeding altogether because well, I'm a sucker.
I would cringe every time he latched on. With every suck, I felt a thousand daggers pushing their way into my heart. It hurt. It hurt real bad.
And don't even get me started on yeast infections down there.
Seriously. I never had problems with yeast infections until after I had kids. Apparently, being pregnant for four years in a row is not the nicest thing to do to your vagina. It gets mad at you. And then she'll show you who's boss. No really, she will. Grrrr.
So, next time you're having discussions about whether it's easier to be a man or a woman, pull the yeast infection card. It trumps all other arguments completely.
