We did NOT have pizza night on Saturday. Know why? Because it was Saturday. And I decided that doing regular work is not at all the same as doing extra work. I would tell you what we did instead, but I don't remember.... because I'm old and tired and that was like, two days ago. (Yes, I quite literally cannot make plans of any sort without my calendar right in front of my face.)
In other news, I had fun night with some girlfriends on Sunday. I hosted an Oscar Party, courtesy of Freschetta pizza, and it was lovely. Although, I may have stayed up a smidgen too late, woken up another smidgen too early (you know you haven't gotten enough sleep when the water from the shower burns your eyes), and then run around town like a crazy person getting everything done.
(I'm officially in physical therapy! Go ankles!)
I promise I will have pictures up soon, but for now? I sleep.
February 28, 2011
February 25, 2011
Life Isn't Fair
Today is Friday and Friday at my house means one thing, and one thing only: PIZZA & MOVIE NIGHT.
You see, every Friday, if everyone has done their chores, and been generally happy, then we have pizza. THEN we stay up late and watch a movie. ON THE COUCH. WHEN IT'S DARK TIME OUTSIDE.
But not today, oh no, that didn't happen.
Instead, my imaginative children decided to turn into unruly beasts, and when I had absolutely HAD IT... I cancelled pizza night.
We had a regular dinner, with regular green beans.
After dinner, we had regular showers, and regular night time routines.
Regular night time routines were followed by our regular bedtime, which was when the little monsters finally realized that this was serious.
"We are really going to bed NOW? But it's Friday!" they cried.
And in all my mommy wisdom, I replied. "It is for me... I EARNED IT."
Then I shut the door on their sad little faces, called out good night in my best sing-songy voice, and collapsed on the couch.
Now, I am debating between making them wait until NEXT Friday, or letting them earn a Pizza Night tomorrow, provided they don't act like a bunch of idiots.
What would you do?
You see, every Friday, if everyone has done their chores, and been generally happy, then we have pizza. THEN we stay up late and watch a movie. ON THE COUCH. WHEN IT'S DARK TIME OUTSIDE.
But not today, oh no, that didn't happen.
Instead, my imaginative children decided to turn into unruly beasts, and when I had absolutely HAD IT... I cancelled pizza night.
We had a regular dinner, with regular green beans.
After dinner, we had regular showers, and regular night time routines.
Regular night time routines were followed by our regular bedtime, which was when the little monsters finally realized that this was serious.
"We are really going to bed NOW? But it's Friday!" they cried.
And in all my mommy wisdom, I replied. "It is for me... I EARNED IT."
Then I shut the door on their sad little faces, called out good night in my best sing-songy voice, and collapsed on the couch.
Now, I am debating between making them wait until NEXT Friday, or letting them earn a Pizza Night tomorrow, provided they don't act like a bunch of idiots.
What would you do?
February 23, 2011
I’m pretty sure it’s not just me
In fact, I’m almost 97.6% certain that this hasn’t anything to do with me at all.
And you should know, I’m rarely, if ever, wrong.
The End.
February 22, 2011
The Shortlings are Sleeping
It’s 1:34 in the morning and I’m up…
As usual.
And I’m blogging….
Also as usual.
And since those two things collide way more than they should, I've decided to give you a detailed account of just exactly what happens after my children go to bed.
7:00pm – I tuck the shortlings in bed for the night.
7:05pm – I go to the bathroom in peace
7:10pm- I fix myself a drink.
7:15pm – I debate over a snack
7:20pm – Still debating
7:30pm – Decide I don’t want a snack and refill my drink
7:32pm – Hear tiny voices floating down the stairs
7:33pm – Yell at tiny people.
7:34pm – Listen really hard to see if tiny people did in fact, shut up.
7:35pm – open the laptop
7:37pm – begin going through emails
7:40pm – delete. delete. delete.
8:00pm – move on to “important emails”
9:46pm – remember that I haven’t taken my pills.
9:47pm – tell yourself that you are going to start taking them in the morning
9:48 pm – debate between taking your pills NOW, and then taking them in the morning… OR skip them now and take them in the morning, since you will be up soon anyways.
9:49pm – answer the telephone.
9:50pm – discuss business with west coast mom blogger business partner
9:52pm – jealously listen as she places her McDonald’s drive thru order and wish you had chicken nuggets. Or french fries. Or a block of salt. But only if it was a HOT block of salt
9:53pm – go into the kitchen and look for a snack
9:54pm – stare in the pantry
9:55pm – still staring
9:56pm – still staring
9:57pm – decide to get a drink of water
9:58pm – see pill bottles on the counter
9:59pm – try to remember if you already took them….
10:00pm – keep trying
10:01pm – still trying
10:02pm – ask Elisa if she knows if you took your pills. Become frustrated that she doesn’t know the answer
10:03pm – take the pills anyways, just to be safe.
10:04pm – forget what you were talking about.
10:05pm – get another drink, then go back to sit at the computer and actually get work done.
10:06pm – Get a text message from the person you’re on the phone with, while composing an email to said person.
10:07pm – Laugh at the irony of it all.
10:08pm – Say “Okay, we REALLY NEED TO GET TO WORK NOW.”
11:00pm – Hang up, look over pages of notes, devise plan of attack.
11:05pm – Remember that you need to finish up that other project that was due 17 days ago.
11:06pm – begin working furiously.
1:00am – Project finished.
1:01am- double, triple, quadruple check project…
1:20am – Everything is golden
1:21am – make a to-do list for tomorrow
1:25am – decide you’re not really tired, and see what’s happening on twitter
1:33am – think about writing a blog post
1:34am – write a blog post
1:58am – finish the blog post
1:59pm – post and good night, uh, morning. you know, whatever.
As usual.
And I’m blogging….
Also as usual.
And since those two things collide way more than they should, I've decided to give you a detailed account of just exactly what happens after my children go to bed.
7:00pm – I tuck the shortlings in bed for the night.
7:05pm – I go to the bathroom in peace
7:10pm- I fix myself a drink.
7:15pm – I debate over a snack
7:20pm – Still debating
7:30pm – Decide I don’t want a snack and refill my drink
7:32pm – Hear tiny voices floating down the stairs
7:33pm – Yell at tiny people.
7:34pm – Listen really hard to see if tiny people did in fact, shut up.
7:35pm – open the laptop
7:37pm – begin going through emails
7:40pm – delete. delete. delete.
8:00pm – move on to “important emails”
9:46pm – remember that I haven’t taken my pills.
9:47pm – tell yourself that you are going to start taking them in the morning
9:48 pm – debate between taking your pills NOW, and then taking them in the morning… OR skip them now and take them in the morning, since you will be up soon anyways.
9:49pm – answer the telephone.
9:50pm – discuss business with west coast mom blogger business partner
9:52pm – jealously listen as she places her McDonald’s drive thru order and wish you had chicken nuggets. Or french fries. Or a block of salt. But only if it was a HOT block of salt
9:53pm – go into the kitchen and look for a snack
9:54pm – stare in the pantry
9:55pm – still staring
9:56pm – still staring
9:57pm – decide to get a drink of water
9:58pm – see pill bottles on the counter
9:59pm – try to remember if you already took them….
10:00pm – keep trying
10:01pm – still trying
10:02pm – ask Elisa if she knows if you took your pills. Become frustrated that she doesn’t know the answer
10:03pm – take the pills anyways, just to be safe.
10:04pm – forget what you were talking about.
10:05pm – get another drink, then go back to sit at the computer and actually get work done.
10:06pm – Get a text message from the person you’re on the phone with, while composing an email to said person.
10:07pm – Laugh at the irony of it all.
10:08pm – Say “Okay, we REALLY NEED TO GET TO WORK NOW.”
11:00pm – Hang up, look over pages of notes, devise plan of attack.
11:05pm – Remember that you need to finish up that other project that was due 17 days ago.
11:06pm – begin working furiously.
1:00am – Project finished.
1:01am- double, triple, quadruple check project…
1:20am – Everything is golden
1:21am – make a to-do list for tomorrow
1:25am – decide you’re not really tired, and see what’s happening on twitter
1:33am – think about writing a blog post
1:34am – write a blog post
1:58am – finish the blog post
1:59pm – post and good night, uh, morning. you know, whatever.
February 21, 2011
Charity Never Faileth
I spoke in church a couple of weeks ago. This is what I said… minus my awesome introduction.
- - - - -
But what does that really mean? When we hear the word “charity” many of us think of service. We think of donations. We think of charity in the terms of men, and not in the terms of the Lord.
In Moroni 7:45 we read:
And acharity suffereth long, and is bkind, and cenvieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily dprovoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.Christ’s life reflects a truly charitable spirit.
He hopes with us.
He bears with us.
He rejoices when we rejoice,
And He endures with us, even so much so that He willingly gave His life for us.
Brothers and sisters, true charity NEVER fails.
If you’re anything at all like me, you hear the words of the gospel teachings, and you ask yourself, but what does that mean?
Charity is the pure love of Christ.
Great! But got it!
But why is that the answer, and what does it really mean?
To find the answer, we have to break it down, and focus on the love of Christ, which we can break down even further and look at it in three different ways:
1. The love FOR Christ
2. The love FROM Christ
3. The love LIKE Christ
So let’s take a look at the love FOR Christ. To truly love someone, you have to know them. To know Christ, we need to study his life and his teachings. We need to look at the lessons he has given us and apply them in our own lives.
I am sure that all of us have a favorite story of Christ. Personally, my favorite thing about Christ was his storytelling abilities. I love that he taught the gospel using parables, because in doing so, He gives us so much room for growth.
My favorite primary song is The Wise Man and The Foolish Man. It’s a rousing song, it’s fun to sing, and there’s ACTIONS. And as a person who is having a really hard time speaking to you without waving her hands around right now, you should know, that I really like anything that has ACTIONS.
Anyways, I was in the kitchen one day making dinner, and my kids were being kids. They were running around, playing games, and singing…
The Wise Men Built His House Upon a Rock,
the Wise Man Built his house upon a rock…
And I hadn’t been paying attention to much of anything, when it HIT me. What that song was really about. The difference between the wise man and the foolish man wasn’t education. It was understanding.
In a moment of clarity, I finally heard the MESSAGE behind the words that I’ve been singing for over two decades. In that moment, I understood the importance of teaching my children about Christ, and why it is important to give them a firm foundation for their life.
I had an overwhelming love for my Saviour in that moment, because he knew that I had been struggling with balancing all the good parts of my life, and in the simple words of a Primary song, I had my answer.
The second part is the love FROM Christ.
As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we hear often how much God loves us. We hear it so much, and so often, that it is easy to take it for granted, and it is so easy to forget.
We get caught up in the day to day minutia of life. We begin to compare ourselves to others, and we lose sight of the good parts.
Every. Good. Thing. In our life is BECAUSE of Him and His love for us. We should pray daily for help to discover and recognize his love. It won’t always be easy to recognize his love because Christ never promised a life free from heartache and sorrow.
It is through our trials that we learn to receive his love in all things.
It is through those trials that our hearts are softened and we are better able to comprehend the extent of his love and care for us.
God does not forget about us. He does not ignore our pleadings to him.
There are times in our lives, when we are not ready to hear the answers he gives.
It is important to remember that he does not answer with thunder and lightning. He often answers in the quiet recesses of our hearts. He answers in the unexpected email or text message from a friend. He answers though the innocence of children, the stumbled upon news article, or the chance encounter with the grocery store clerk.
You may pray for understanding, but it not until you open your heart to recognize His love, that you will truly see what his answer is.
When the Lord does take the time to answer our prayers, we need to receive his answer in love and humility. Don’t just thank him for the blessings you enjoy. Jesus’ love for us does not change according to our actions, and our love for Him should not change according to circumstance.
Know that God loves you, and that he wants you to feel his love continually each day. As you pray to him, and grow closer in your relationship with God, you will find an intimate and sacred relationship that is built on trust. You will begin to know that he understands your anguish, and has compassion for you. We need to let our trials strengthen and sustain us. We need to open our hearts, and let Him love us.
Thirdly, the love LIKE Christ.
Jesus Christ was a perfect example of charity.
Unfortunately, no one here is perfect. We all have failings, we all make mistakes, we all have things that we can improve upon.
Because of our own imperfections, it is not our place to decide who deserves our love, our help, our friendship, or our understanding.
Some of us have more obvious imperfections than others. And when you are focused on finding those imperfections, than yes, they will become glaringly obvious.
As LDS members, we are required to seek after the lovely. We are commanded to find the virtuous and the praiseworthy. We are instructed to seek after the good things.
Our homes need to be a haven from the storms of life. We need to be loyal to our families, and reinforce the positive.
Family Home Evenings should be used as a tool for communication and teaching, and not as an opportunity to judge.
Recently, I have begun working with LDS artist Liz Lemon Swindle. She approached us with one very simple objective in mind: that every Christian home should have a picture of Christ prominently displayed.
As members of the LDS church, we are taught that:
A house is a place where people live in peace and happiness. A house can be a cave, a cottage, a tent, a palace, a cabin, or a hogan. The size or beauty of a building does not make it a home; happy people make a home.
Each of us should create a feeling in our home that will inspire our family. We want our family members to live gospel principles and to make good use of their time and talents. We should provide opportunities for study, recreation, and hobbies in our homes. Then family members will want to be at home and will be less likely to seek activities elsewhere.
And this is so true.
Children are a direct product of their environment.
The things they learn within the walls of our homes are the lessons that will carry them throughout their lives. The way we conduct ourselves, how we choose to spend our time, even the artwork displayed on our walls, tell others what our priorities are.
To love like Christ is not just a principle. It is not an attitude or an action.
To love like Christ is to change, from the inside out.
Elder Marvin J. Ashton said:
Real charity is not something you give away; it is something that you acquire and make a part of yourself. And when the virtue of charity becomes implanted in your heart, you are never the same again.
Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.
- - - - -
Then I closed with my wicked awesome testimony that the church is true, amen.
February 19, 2011
February 18, 2011
Love/Hate and Ankles
2011 is my friend. This is really good news because 2010 and me had a love/hate relationship that was 95% hate.
The only “bad” thing about this year, stems from a rather unfortunate moon bounce incident that happened last year. Therefore, it technically doesn’t count, even though it is a little annoying. You see, my ankle. It is tender… still.
The worst part of my day is getting out of bed in the morning.
In the morning, my ankle is frozen.
It does not want to get out of bed, it does not want to gently place my foot on the floor, and it most definitely does not want to go to the bathroom or walk down 15 steps to get people ready for school.
If I get in the car too fast, it hurts.
If I walk to much, it hurts.
The rotation that should be there, isn’t, and has been replaced by a paranoia of yet another repeat injury.
ALSO: shin splints (or maybe just splint, singular) and the ever growing awareness that I have to move my ankle A, B, C in order for it to move X, Y, Z. (It gets STUCK and I have to physically my foot in a counter clockwise direction to loosen the muscle on the top.)
At any rate, I probably am going to see some kind of foot doctor in the next little while because, uh, I think this was probably more than just a sprain.
In the meantime, Chum Chum says hi.
The only “bad” thing about this year, stems from a rather unfortunate moon bounce incident that happened last year. Therefore, it technically doesn’t count, even though it is a little annoying. You see, my ankle. It is tender… still.
The worst part of my day is getting out of bed in the morning.
In the morning, my ankle is frozen.
It does not want to get out of bed, it does not want to gently place my foot on the floor, and it most definitely does not want to go to the bathroom or walk down 15 steps to get people ready for school.
If I get in the car too fast, it hurts.
If I walk to much, it hurts.
The rotation that should be there, isn’t, and has been replaced by a paranoia of yet another repeat injury.
ALSO: shin splints (or maybe just splint, singular) and the ever growing awareness that I have to move my ankle A, B, C in order for it to move X, Y, Z. (It gets STUCK and I have to physically my foot in a counter clockwise direction to loosen the muscle on the top.)
At any rate, I probably am going to see some kind of foot doctor in the next little while because, uh, I think this was probably more than just a sprain.
In the meantime, Chum Chum says hi.
February 17, 2011
Dear you,
Dear Headache,
Thanks so much for finally going away. SIX DAYS LATER.
stabbily yours,
Caroline
- - - - -
Dear Danny's ears/nose/throat/etc.,
What the trash? That's it. You're seeing the allergist next week, and those tonsils will be coming out asap.
love,
your more so than usual sleep deprived mother
- - - - -
Dear Thaddeus,
Paige is NOT your girlfriend. I don't care if she says you're hunky. You are SEVEN. Also: your fauxhawk is looking sweet.
love,
Mom
- - - - -
Dear Blayne,
You are cute. I like you. We should have a mommy/daughter date. And by mommy/daughter date, I mean, just us should hit the grocery store and Blockbuster.
xoxo,
Mom
- - - - -
Dear Taylor,
You say the craziest things, and it cracks me up. I am also enjoying your "Valentine phase" in which you only dress in things that are Red. Pink. Purple. Hearts. And Flowers. But not all the flowers, because some of them are blue or orange and those are not Valentines colors.
love,
Mom
Thanks so much for finally going away. SIX DAYS LATER.
stabbily yours,
Caroline
- - - - -
Dear Danny's ears/nose/throat/etc.,
What the trash? That's it. You're seeing the allergist next week, and those tonsils will be coming out asap.
love,
your more so than usual sleep deprived mother
- - - - -
Dear Thaddeus,
Paige is NOT your girlfriend. I don't care if she says you're hunky. You are SEVEN. Also: your fauxhawk is looking sweet.
love,
Mom
- - - - -
Dear Blayne,
You are cute. I like you. We should have a mommy/daughter date. And by mommy/daughter date, I mean, just us should hit the grocery store and Blockbuster.
xoxo,
Mom
- - - - -
Dear Taylor,
You say the craziest things, and it cracks me up. I am also enjoying your "Valentine phase" in which you only dress in things that are Red. Pink. Purple. Hearts. And Flowers. But not all the flowers, because some of them are blue or orange and those are not Valentines colors.
love,
Mom
February 14, 2011
Excuse Me
I am behind on life, because I have a headache.
I know this sounds like a lousy excuse, but I'm pretty sure that my headache would kill a normal person.
The pain usually originates behind one of my eyes. Left, right, it doesn't matter, so long as it's stabby.
Then it snakes like a razor hot stream of pain to the back of my head, down my neck, and settles into my hip.
On the way down, it likes to wrench hold of my intestines, tying them in knots.
The wrong smell sends me running to the bathroom, almost as if I was pregnant, but that is so not the story.
I guess what I am saying is that I apologize for not getting back to you, and I'm sorry that the invoice is late.
I haven't responded to your emails, and unless something magical happens fast, I will still NOT be answering them in the morning.
love,
the girl who tried to go to church on Sunday, but didn't make it all the way through the meetings.
P.S. I hate the way your perfume smells. No really, it's awful.
February 12, 2011
I should have been a contortionist.
We have now painted the stairwell.
I want to die.
Happy happy Saturday night.
Go Townhouse!
February 9, 2011
Sometimes
.... my kids all get sick, and only one of them is legit needs antibiotics type of sick and so that one person suffers for longer than is necessary because I think it's just a bug that is going around. My apologies to Taylor's sad ears.
....I forget how many people (in real life) read my blog. Then they say something to me about something that I wrote, and I am confused because they think I was talking about person A, when in fact I was referring to person D-List because I never talk about person A. {shrug} (it could possibly because of cryptic blurbs of information like this.)
.... DadGuy gets loudly annoyed at the people he is playing video games with.... until I remind him that the people he is playing with are FOUR.
.... I don't time dinner exactly right and we have showers and get all ready for bed, THEN eat.
.... I run out of things to say so my blog posts end awkwardly. (like now for instance.)
....I forget how many people (in real life) read my blog. Then they say something to me about something that I wrote, and I am confused because they think I was talking about person A, when in fact I was referring to person D-List because I never talk about person A. {shrug} (it could possibly because of cryptic blurbs of information like this.)
.... DadGuy gets loudly annoyed at the people he is playing video games with.... until I remind him that the people he is playing with are FOUR.
.... I don't time dinner exactly right and we have showers and get all ready for bed, THEN eat.
.... I run out of things to say so my blog posts end awkwardly. (like now for instance.)
February 8, 2011
Ramblings
I have three half-written posts sitting in my draft folder, just waiting for an ending.
Unfortunately, they're going to have to stay there awhile because I am tripping over the words, and jumping back and forth between storylines, and I have a new found respect for people that can easily weave bits and pieces of background into the story without making everything sound awkward.
Then again, I'm nothing if not awkward.
In other news, we have been taking turns being sick around these parts, which means that we all missed church on Sunday, and nobody went to school Monday either.
Somehow in the midst of that, I painted the living room the most gorgeous shade of gray, and for the first time since we moved in, I cleaned my house because I WANTED to, and not because I HAD to. Which has got me to thinking about how funny it is that now that my house isn't yellow, I'm starting to almost love it.
It just goes to show that you take much better you take care of things when you love them. And when you don't like something, it doesn't matter how clean and bright and shiny it is, you still hate it.
AND we took down those stupid floor length white curtains and rods and patched the holes. Then we installed blinds! Glorious blinds! Okay, only one set, because the other window is a weird size so they're custom ordered. But getting rid of those curtains makes the room look so much bigger and cleaner.
{happy sigh}
Pics to come!
Unfortunately, they're going to have to stay there awhile because I am tripping over the words, and jumping back and forth between storylines, and I have a new found respect for people that can easily weave bits and pieces of background into the story without making everything sound awkward.
Then again, I'm nothing if not awkward.
In other news, we have been taking turns being sick around these parts, which means that we all missed church on Sunday, and nobody went to school Monday either.
Somehow in the midst of that, I painted the living room the most gorgeous shade of gray, and for the first time since we moved in, I cleaned my house because I WANTED to, and not because I HAD to. Which has got me to thinking about how funny it is that now that my house isn't yellow, I'm starting to almost love it.
It just goes to show that you take much better you take care of things when you love them. And when you don't like something, it doesn't matter how clean and bright and shiny it is, you still hate it.
AND we took down those stupid floor length white curtains and rods and patched the holes. Then we installed blinds! Glorious blinds! Okay, only one set, because the other window is a weird size so they're custom ordered. But getting rid of those curtains makes the room look so much bigger and cleaner.
{happy sigh}
Pics to come!
February 4, 2011
The Margin of Error: Fashion Tips from Yours Truly
I would like to talk about the Margin of Error.
There is a fairly detailed explanation available at Wikipedia, but I'm going to give you the "real life" application, which is as follows: The smaller the control (X) the larger the margin of error. See illustration below.
NOW, taking this equation and applying it to "fashion" means that the SMALLER THE PERSON the LARGER the margin of error.
You see, a thin person has a large margin of error when it comes to clothing. Pants can be worn a little lower, and your hemlines can be a little higher. I would even venture to say that if you were walking around in a bikini, it wouldn’t be unacceptable so much as it would be weird.
It is also important to note that “smallness” is determined by factors including, but not limited to: height, weight, and age. Chubby naked babies? Cute. Chubby naked old men? Not cute.
You see, a larger person, has a smaller margin of error in regards to clothing. Pants should worn at the waist. Shirts should adequately cover your lower back and abdomen. For the love of all that is holy, wear a one piece. This is not to say that you need to be covered from your neck to your ankles. It is just that I can’t unsee the things that you are showing to me, and I am sorry, but I am not a fan of seeing where your bottom begins OR ends.
And that concludes today’s lesson on fashion.
Thank you.
And also? You’re welcome.
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